There really is no higher honour. Thank you, Stephen Elliott. I may not know you but I love you even more. And I already loved Letters in the Mail, but now I love it even more.

Sometimes, hair trends are so right. And sometimes, they’re just very, very wrong. Unless you’re five. Or maybe it’s just me.

What do you think? Would you wear it?

OK. I’m being a bit dramatic. I wasn’t totally angry. But I was totally hungry. For three days straight. Here’s why:

A few months ago, Wellness Kit editor Ceri Marsh said she wanted to do a feature on juice cleanses in her section of the magazine. She wanted to compare a few different companies, but didn’t want to do them all herself and asked if I wanted to do one. Yessssss. I’ve always wanted to do a cleanse, but I have the worst willpower. And also, I hate being told what not to do. Tell me I can’t have chocolate and suddenly I can’t even think of a single food item that’s not chocolate. What do people eat for breakfast? No clue. Chocolate corn flakes with chocolate milk and chocolate covered raisins on top? Of course.

I figured committing to a cleanse so I could honestly report back on it would be the incentive I needed to hold me accountable. Apparently, I don’t know myself very well.

During the phone consult with the creator of the cleanse I was assigned, she told me there were 1, 3 and 5-day cleanses. She asked if I’d like to start with the 1-day cleanse.

“No. I’ll do the 5 day,” I told her.

“Are you sure?” she asked, then reminded me that if I’ve never done a cleanse before, it could be a shock to my system. I assured her I could handle it. If I was going to do a cleanse, I was going to do. a. cleanse. I wanted results!

She agreed, but said I should do the modified cleanse. You have a few juices during the day, but then you also get a salad and a snack for the evening. I told her I wanted the all-juice cleanse. All juices, all the time. What’s the point of modifying? Modifying is for wimps.

There’s a reason she’s the creator of the cleanse. She probably knows her clients better than we know ourselves. Or she could sense my crazy. She said I could do the all-juice cleanse, but only the 3 day. And that she wanted to ease me into it, so she was first going to drop off 3 days’ worth of juices, salads and snacks, so I could do those first, then on the 4th day go hardcore on the juices.

I should’ve just gone with the modified version, because by the time I started the cleanse, I’d already done three days on the modified version and while I pretty much stuck to it (it wasn’t hard, the salads were pretty gourmet, with interesting toppings and dressings and the snacks felt like I was cheating), I still thought I was ready to go hardcore.

I think, in retrospect, what I was ready for, was to bite into a sandwich.

Here’s the rundown of my three days on the all-juice part of the cleanse.

I actually feel mildly embarrassed that I couldn’t stick to it for three days. Logically it doesn’t even make sense since the total calories of the cleanses are probably higher than I’d normally consume in a day (or maybe not? Maybe I eat a lot and have a high metabolism? I have no clue, I never diet because whenever I try, I end up gaining weight, see reasons, above), and since you have six juices to get through, you’re drinking something every few hours. But I was starving all the time. Or so I thought. Anyway, thank goodness I wasn’t the only one who cheated.  Though I’m not sure Vanessa’s celery sticks really count as cheating. If she’s being totally honest (I know she is) then I should probably admit that I didn’t just have one glass of wine, I had two.

All in all, I think these cleanses are great for getting your energy back. And I don’t hold the company at all responsible for my lack of willpower or commitment. They actually know what they’re doing when they do the consult. I should’ve listened. Maybe next time.

I like to call them freckles. But some people think they’re sun spots. Or worse, age spots.

On Friday on The Marilyn Denis Show, we covered everything (literally!) from getting rid of spots to preventing new ones to concealing the ones you have.

The easiest way to remove them is to head to your dermatologist, though this can be expensive. And some of the latest products on the market really do work. On this segment I chose a variety of products at all different price points that I’ve tried, with really good results. In this case, I’d say you get what you pay for. All of these products work, but the higher-end products tend to work more quickly and effectively. But if you’re diligent, you’ll see results with any of these products. If you have age spots you want to get rid of, now’s the time to tackle them, while the sun is hibernating.

I, on the other hand, plan to embrace mine (at least, the ones I’ve had since I was five). Feel free to join me. They’re freckles…

(Note: just make sure you get any suspicious-looking spots checked by your dermatologist to make sure they’re nothing more than superficial spots.)

More than one spot: Products that uniformly diminish look of age spots

1. Clinique Even Better Dark Spot Corrector, $63

2. Cle de Peau Beaute Brightening Serum Supreme, $175 available at Holt Renfrew in March

3. Luminaze Catalytic Skin Tone Illuminator and Dark Spot Corrector, $120, available at the Bay

Spot check: Products that target specific spots

1. Kiehl’s Clearly Corrector Dark Spot Solution, $54, Available February 2012, Holt Renfrew & Kiehl’s stores

2. Marcelle Revival Brown Spot Corrector Roll On, $29.95, drugstores

3. Darphin MelaPerfect Anti-Dark Spots Perfecting Treatment, $115, www.murale.ca

Concealers: Products to specifically conceal dark spots

1. Smashbox Photo Finish Colour Correcting Primer, $48, www.smashboxcanada.com
   
2. M.A.C Mineralize Concealer, $22, Available February 2012, www.maccosmetics.com

Credits:

Blouse, Femme de Carriere, www.femmedecarriere.com
Skirt, Cos by H&M (only in Europe but rumours it’s coming to North America!), www.cosstores.com
Shoes, Enzo Angiolini
Hair by Sun at Concepts Salon + Spa, www.conceptstoronto.com
Nails by Tips Nail Bar, www.tipsnailbar.ca

The  February digital issue of The Kit is out today. You know what that means: finally, finally!, you can figure out what kind of hairbrush you’re supposed to be using on your coarse/fine/curly/wavy/straight/frizzy/limp/staticky/all-of-the-above hair. Brush up!

Best line from her letter: If I bring food from home there is the inevitable fight to get them through TSA screening, prompting philosophical arguments on what is and what is not a gel or liquid — what would you consider almond butter anyway?

It’s not too late for you to get a letter. Well, it is too late for you to get a letter from Margaret Cho. But it’s not too late for you to get the next letter. Sign up at TheRumpus.net. I think it’s worth the $10/month when I open my mailbox to find a letter. But then, I love getting surprises in the mail.

You're lonely when you're dead.

I'll bury my dead.

Men cast a net for her...

Headlines and a lonely Lovely.

The backs of the books all have the original jacket copy. This is my favourite:

“She is one of those smooth blondes with enough real glamour not to need any camouflage like lipstick or nail polish–especially in a tight white satin dress not to mention a ditto sweater. All these gents are after something and it ain’t hay, but whatever it is they chase the gal all around the world to get it.”

This may be Stephen Elliott’s best idea yet.

The first letter arrived in the mail the other day. It was from Stephen. It was a little like getting a letter from a childhood friend. A little like getting a note from your best friend. A little like getting a letter that wasn’t addressed to you at all, but which you opened because you couldn’t stop yourself and then felt guilty, but couldn’t put it down. It was Stephen Elliott magic.

The next letter is from Margaret Cho. Dave Eggers, Janet Fitch and Jonathan Ames are just a few of the authors who have also agreed to write letters.

You can sign up for the next letter here.